Friday, February 25, 2011

Never Judge Yourself by What Other People Think of You

Why is it that we are always so worried about what other people think of us. Is it because you know what you think about other people, and assume they are thinking the same kind of things about you?

When you're a teenager you are constantly worried about your image. It seems like back then those things were a lot more important to me. After I got married we were so poor. Cam only went to school and I worked at a Daycare....anyone who has worked in child care knows that is not a very big paycheck. I know I lost all sense of what was fashionable- I wore clothes that I already had. We couldn't afford anything new. Then I got pregnant. I bought 1 pair of maternity pants, 1 skirt and 2 maternity shirts. I wore them when I went out. The rest of the time I wore my scrubs and Cams t-shirts. I was staying home tending my niece at the time so this was okay. After giving birth my body changed so dramatically that I had to get all new clothes. We only bought a few things-again money was an issue. By the time I gave birth to Bear I had gone up another 2 sizes and none of my clothes fit right and I hated my body so badly that I just gave up. I wore whatever I could find and whatever was cheap. About a year and a half later I woke up and asked why I was doing this to myself. It was like I was punishing myself for keeping on the baby weight. I didn't feel cute. I didn't feel sexy. I felt blah. I couldn't stand to look in the mirror. All I could see was the negative about myself. I felt bad about my appearance and it showed. None of my clothes fit my body right. I had stopped making myself a priority and as a result my self esteem took a nosedive. We do that so much as moms. We spend oodles of time worrying about how our kids look and forget that we should take time for our own appearance too. We still didn't have much of a clothes budget but I changed my attitude. Instead of going for the cheap and fast I spent more time looking choosing better colors better fit ect. As I started to do this I felt a lot better about myself. Do I still hate my body-yes. But I have a better self image because I take more care in how I look. My main wardrobe is jeans and workT's but that will always be me....

So how does that relate. Well I don't think I worry as much about what other people think when I am taking the time to feel good about myself. If you find that inner harmony, what other people think matters less. Kinda like Luna Lovegood in the Harry Potter books. To others she was an oddball but she was comfortable in her own skin. We need to all work to be comfortable with ourselves. Truth be told I am my own harshest critic. If someone else is thinking something about me chances are I have thought it about myself only 10x worse. I have found that when I find joy in the good things about myself, and try to always move forward and fix the things that I don't like, that I feel better about me and worry less about what others think.

I think this is long enough even though I have other thoughts about other aspects of this.
So speaking of judging people.... Please don't judge me on my poor never was my strong point...I should fix that ;)


  1. I've gone through this exact same thing. I've been angry with myself, possibly even punished myself for not loosing the baby weight. I've hated those people who did lose the weight. It was such a big change over such a small time that I had a hard time adjusting to the new me. But as time passes, I have learned to be a little more accepting of myself. Which is hard.

  2. Well I think you are beautiful. I struggle with the same thing without even having any kids. I've struggled with looking good for me. More women should take pride in the way they look.

  3. This is a great post! I love self-discovery moments and paradigm shifts. It is a sign that we haven't become stagnant in living. Way to be! I love seeing pics of your girls, they are so darling. Keep smilin'!

  4. Sam and I were talking about body immage last night. I basicaly see my self as a beach ball with apendages. Sam is so excited about the changes he is seeing in his body right now due to his new push up routine and I think it's great but at the same time I feel jealous and grumpy about it. I have to remind myself that people succeed in groups, one person's success only makes mine more likely. I want to be thiner and not get sick as often and hurt less. I think that somewhere along the line I decided I am the fat girl and that is my roll in life and I also see it as a protective cop out as well. I can't because I'm fat, people don't like me because I'm fat, etc... I can blame it on the Fat and not on an inate problem with my self. So I want to change this. As I was watching the Biggest loser last night I was thinking even if I only live till I am 65 I still have as much life left to live as I have lived and I have the choice of what body I live it in. I don't have kids so I don't have that reason for my body beign so far gone. Just my own lack of motivation or desire tor ealy make a change in my living style. It is not just loosing weight it is the way I live my life. I know this is long and I will probably copy it and make it one of my blog posts ;) two for one right? Anyway know I love you and am glad you are taking more time and concideration for yourself. All My Love, Jennette