So this weekend my parents gave me a box of my stuff that they found in their storage shed. As I went through the box I found an AP scholar award- I jokingly held it up to Cam and said "Look your wife used to be smart." (to be honest I forgot I ever was an AP scholar) Of course he just laughs at me but the truth is, when I look at my life now and my life as a student I sometimes wonder what happened. I do not feel smart like I used to. I told my sister what I had said to Cam and she said "you're still smart you just use it in a different way. " I agree that I am not some dummy on the street but I think it is hard to feel smart as a mom and pre-school teacher. Sure I know more than the 4 year olds but, they are constantly challenging what I thought I was good at. This last year of teaching has been a total overhaul of every technique I ever used. But that is another subject all together. Have you ever read one of your old High School or College essays and thought man that person sounds like they know their stuff. Now I am lucky if I can get out a coherent sentance once or twice a week. So what happened. Why can I not punctate a sentence correctly or spell with out spell check. Where along the line did I loose that knowledge?
I always joke that my kids were made from my brain cells- anyone who has become a mom might agree with that. But really I used to use big words!! Now it is all about dolls and dinos, bugs and babies. I just hope that one day I will be able to reconnect with the scholar in me. Until then though I will say I used to be smart.